Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them. They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. An involved father promotes healthy development in his children.

Research suggests that positive time spent with their fathers can reduce the likelihood of boys becoming anxious, depressed, or aggressive.

According to Psychology Today, research on thousands of fathers and sons, men who break the law are far more likely to have fathers who also broke the law. For sons of law-abiding fathers, only 4 % were found to be convicted of more than one delinquent act. In contrast, for sons of law-breaking Fathers, about 40 % committed more than one delinquent act.
   

How to Foster a Healthy Father-Son Relationship

Love his mother:

This teaches him how to treat his mom, his sisters, and all woman he will meet. Treat his mother with respect.

• Shows the child what respect looks like: When a father treats the mother with kindness, patience, and dignity, the son learns that real strength is expressed through respect, not control or anger. Speak kindly about the mother in front of your son.
• Creates emotional security for the child: Children thrive when they sense peace between their parents. It reassures them that both parents care about their well-being, even if they live separately. Avoid arguments or blame where the child can hear.
• Build trust and cooperation: A father who communicates respectfully with the mother about parenting, schedules, or discipline, teaches his son that healthy relationships rely on teamwork and honesty. Collaborate respectfully on parenting decisions.
• Breaks cycles of conflict: Many at-risk boys have witnessed or experienced conflict, neglect, or disrespect in the home. Demonstrating consistent respect for the mother helps interrupt these harmful patterns.
• Honors the child’s roots: Loving the mother, or at least speaking positively about her, acknowledges that she is an essential part of the child’s identity. When a father dishonors the mother, the child may internalize that pain as rejection of a part of themselves. Encourage the child to love and spend time with both parents.

He needs to see you fail not just succeed:

If he sees you handle failure, he learns it is okay to make a mistake.

• Teaches humility and honesty: When a father admits he was wrong, apologizes, or owns up to poor choices, he models integrity. The son learns that admitting mistakes doesn’t make a man weak, it makes him trustworthy. Builds emotional resilience: Many at-risk boys feel pressure to hide their flaws or failures. Seeing a father recover from failure teaches them that setbacks are not the end of growth. Let your son see you apologize to him, to others, or even to yourself
• Encourages open communication: When fathers talk about their struggles (a bad decision, losing a job, a relationship mistake), it creates space for sons to talk about their own problems without fear of judgment. Talk openly about times you struggled or made bad choices, and what you learned.
• Models problem-solving: By watching how a father handles failure—reflecting, apologizing, making amends, trying again—the son learns real-world coping skills that build character and perseverance. Share the effort it takes to recover from failure, not just victory.
• Reinforces unconditional love: When a son sees that his father still values himself and keeps showing up after failing, he learns that love and self-worth aren’t tied to success or perfection. Celebrate perseverance, honesty, and effort as much as achievement.

Show him that you are the leader of the family:

He needs you to serve your family well and he will become a good leader. Being the leader of a family doesn’t mean being the loudest or the toughest. it means taking responsibility, setting a positive example, and guiding the family with love, consistency, and respect.

• Leadership through example: A son learns what kind of man to be by watching how his father lives, not just by hearing what he says. When a father works hard, keeps his word, and treats others with kindness, he demonstrates true leadership. Keep your word, do what you say you’ll do.
• Creates structure and safety: At-risk boys often grow up in unstable or unpredictable environments. A father who provides consistency by keeping routines, showing up when he says he will, and following through builds a deep sense of security and trust. Be calm and decisive, especially in stressful situations.
• Shows strength through service: Real leadership isn’t about control or dominance; it’s about responsibility and service. A father who helps around the home, listens to family members, and makes decisions for the good of everyone shows his son that leadership is love in action. Take initiative in family life and plan, guide, and support.
• Sets moral direction: A father’s values honesty, work ethic, compassion, faith, and accountability and guides the whole family. When a son sees those values lived out daily, he learns to lead his own life with integrity. Listen before making decisions; involve family members respectfully.
• Teaches respect for authority: When a father leads calmly and fairly, his son learns to respect authority and eventually to take healthy leadership roles himself. Model self-discipline and fairness in your actions and tone.

Be present in his life:

Be there in his education, social life, and all areas of his life. Being present means more than just being physically around. It means giving your son your time, your attention, and your heart. Presence builds connection, trust, and a sense of belonging that every boy needs from his father.

• Time is love: For many at-risk boys, the absence of consistent adult attention can lead to feelings of rejection or unworthiness. When a father regularly spends time with his son without distractions, he communicates, “You matter to me.” Set aside regular one-on-one time, even short moments each day.
• Emotional availability: Being present isn’t only about showing up for games or school events; it’s also about listening, talking, and sharing feelings. When a father listens with empathy, he teaches his son that emotions are safe and valuable. Put away phones or distractions during your time together.
• Teaches consistency and reliability: A father who keeps showing up, even when it’s inconvenient, models commitment and dependability. These are qualities that define a good man and a good father. Show interest in his world, his music, his friends, his struggles, and his dreams.
• Prevents negative influences from filling the gap: Boys who lack engaged fathers often look to peers, media, or unhealthy environments for direction. A father’s steady presence provides guidance, identity, and moral grounding. Attend his school or community events; your presence means more than your words.
• Creates lifelong memories and trust: The moments that shape a relationship often seem small like playing catch, cooking together, going for walks, talking before bed, but they build a bond that lasts a lifetime. Follow up on what he shares. Remember what’s important to him. 

Love him unconditionally:

• Builds a foundation of security: For many at-risk boys, love has felt uncertain or dependent on behavior. When a father’s love doesn’t waver through mistakes, anger, or disappointment, the son begins to feel safe enough to grow, trust, and change. Say “I love you” often, even (and especially) when he’s made a mistake.
• Teaches self-worth: A son who knows he is loved no matter, learns that his value doesn’t depend on performance or approval. This helps him develop confidence and resilience in the face of life’s challenges. Separate behavior from identity: correct what he does but affirm who he is.
• Encourages honesty: When a boy knows he won’t lose his father’s love for telling the truth, he’s more likely to be open about struggles, fears, or failures. This is building a deeper relationship. Be patient when he pushes boundaries, see the hurt or fear beneath the behavior.
• Breaks cycles of shame: At-risk youth often carry feelings of guilt or unworthiness from past experiences. A father’s steady love helps replace shame with hope and belonging. Forgive him quickly and show him how to forgive.
• Models divine or moral love: Many traditions teach that real love mirrors the unconditional love of God or a higher purpose. When a father loves this way, he shows his son how to extend compassion to others. Remind him that nothing he could ever do would make you stop loving him.  

Affirm what he does:

• Build self-esteem through encouragement: Many at-risk boys hear more criticism than praise. When a father affirms what his son does right, it strengthens his belief that he can succeed and make good choices. Be specific: instead of “good job,” say, “I liked how you kept your cool when you were upset.”
  
• Reinforces positive behavior: What you notice, and praise gets repeated. A simple acknowledgment like, “I’m proud of how you handled that,” or “You worked hard on that,” encourages him to keep striving and growing. Acknowledge small wins as well as big ones.
  
• Teaches that effort matters: Affirming the process; trying, learning, and perseverance shows your son that effort is more important than perfection. This builds resilience and motivation. Write notes or send messages that express pride and belief in him.
  
• Shapes his identity: A father’s words often become a son’s inner voice. When you speak the affirmations, “You are kind,” “You’re responsible,” “You’re a leader”, you help him see himself that way. Affirm his strengths, talents, and good intentions even when results fall short.
  
• Balances correction with love: Discipline is necessary, but it’s just as important to balance it with affirmation. When a boy knows his father sees the good in him, he’s more open to guidance and correction. Let him hear you speak well of him to others; those words carry deep weight. 

Set boundaries and expectations:

• Creates a sense of safety: Boundaries tell a child, “I care enough to protect you.” For at-risk boys, many of whom have experienced chaos, inconsistency, or neglect, need consistent rules that provide the stability they crave. Make expectations clear and explain why a rule exists, not just what it is.
  
• Builds respect and trust: When a father enforces rules fairly and follows through on consequences, his son learns that respect goes both ways. Predictable boundaries create mutual trust and security. Be consistent, don’t change boundaries based on mood or convenience.
  
• Teaches self-discipline: Clear expectations help a boy learn how to manage his own behavior and make wise choices. Over time, external limits become internal ones that form the foundation of maturity. Enforce consequences calmly, not out of anger.
  
• Prepares him for the real world: Life has rules, consequences, and responsibilities. A father who expects honesty, effort, and respect helps his son succeed in school, work, and relationships. Praise compliance and responsible choices just as much as you correct mistakes.
  
• Shows love through consistency: It may not feel like love in the moment, but steady, fair discipline tells a son that his father cares enough not to give up on him. Inconsistent or overly harsh rules, by contrast, can create confusion or resentment. Involve your son in setting some expectations as he matures, this builds respect and ownership.
  

Why This Matters

A study in Developmental Psychology suggests that a strong father-son bond forged during childhood may help men deal with everyday stress in later life.

Positive parenting factors must be taught to at-risk high school aged youth who may be thinking about being a parent. The benefits of participating in a parenting program for teen boys can help them form positive father-son relationships. Teen parents need education and work to raise a happy, healthy, and successful child. They need to learn the responsibilities of being a parent.

This is why we believe strongly in providing life skills lessons for teens. Our life skills curriculum for high school (Fatherhood curriculum) addresses teen parenting for boys. ARISE believes that boys and girls need to learn parenting skills, and these life skills lessons for teens are also important for younger kids. We also offer a comprehensive life skills curriculum for middle school to provide an earlier start on these foundational concepts.

ARISE believes that boys and girls need to learn parenting skills.
So, if you work with girls, our life skills curriculum for high school
Sprout Series addresses teen parenting for girls.